Hearing Weather, and the Mystery Fate of the Insane

My "hearing weather" today is what I call a Monsoon. Here's a key for easy reference:

Fair - I can hear you easily!

Partly Cloudy - A little tricky, but still pretty good.

Overcast - Be sure to face me and stand close.

Rain - This will be a challenge - you'll be repeating yourself.

Monsoon - Use e-mail or other non-voice methods unless you want me to drive you nuts. :)

Utterly Hopeless - Forget it - I have no speech recognition unaided.

Yesterday varied between Overcast and Rain - a pretty good day, really. Spent a single planned vacation day with a good friend kicking around Old Sacramento, museums and such. Mild weather and couldn't have been happier...

Until...

Crazy, round 402, set 10, post-game goal-line skirmish.

It's 8:30 p.m., (at home) phone rings.

I see on the CID it's the STBX ("Soon to be Ex-spouse").

It's only Overcast, so talking is possible.

STBX: "You e-mailed Crystal (my granddaughter) and you're not supposed to contact her!" (this per Crystal's dad while divorce is pending, and I've honored his wishes - meaning the premise presented in this opening gambit is false).

ME: [Far too many pointless references to reality to matter, then] Final statement: "I have not e-mailed Crystal nor contacted her in any way. Goodbye."

[I Hang up]

3 minutes later...

Phone rings (guess who?)

I don't answer.

The answering machine is off because the thing has lost its digital mind (I need a new one :).

For the next 15 minutes, STBX keeps ringing. I am setting a boundary here, I am setting a boundary here, I am setting...

[I turn off the ringer]

[STBX keeps phone line busy off and on ringing for the next 2 hours, as evidenced this morning on my CID box]

My philosophical query of the universe in general is along the following lines.

I am keenly aware now (have been, for awhile, actually), that my STBX is beyond neurotic, but actually insane, quite possibly in a literal, clinical sense. Part of the explanation of the nonsense above is likely due to her mis-understanding of third-party derived information - I had been communicating, e-mail & otherwise with Crystal's mom, and also (other) my STBX's daughter; during said conversations I had mentioned a *desire* to see/communicate with my granddaughter, but nothing of the sort has occurred. Knowing my STBX as I do, this information was likely passed on to her and, as routinely occurs, she leapt to conclusions without understanding facts, and once having leapt, there's no backtracking to reality.

The insanity of the ensuing behavior, however, is the compelling point here.

When someone doesn't want to speak to me, and makes it clear by hanging up the phone with "Goodbye", I make the reasonable assumption that a) they're being truthful about their wishes, and b) that they have a perfect right to have their wishes in that regard fulfilled expeditiously. In my belief, that is one aspect of the elusive condition we collectively call "sanity" - the ability to appreciate and honor another person's boundaries, whether I agree with them or not, and regardless of how I feel. Not the case for my STBX. Certainly not this time.

Depressingly ruminating on this situation today, I began wondering if it's possible that I actually have a social responsibility here that I'm not dealing with correctly. Even though I don't know *exactly* what started this latest nonsense (above analysis is bold conjecture, with knowledge only of my own actions), I do know enough to understand that this woman (STBX) is seriously "bent". The question is, how far "bent" can a person be (along with various addictions including "rage") before they'll do actual damage to themselves or others? My own safety comes to mind, not without prior justification; the safety of others comes to mind as well.

It isn't the fault of my STBX that she's nuts (it's not mine either), but that doesn't mean that I or anyone should have to tolerate abusive or dangerous behaviors. So right now, (all is quiet this morning), I'm in a holding pattern. Everything wise in me says "wait", "hands off the situation", "it's not your problem". I think for now I'll listen to the wise mind. :-)

-LifeWrecked