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The tab is there to open the can
The can is there to hold in the spam...
- Weird Al Yankovic ("Spam")
Every now and then, something triggers a memory, and my mind goes tumbling into the past; the sights, the sounds, and yes, the smells of my childhood.
One of my fondest memories is of my mom, working artfully in the kitchen, preparing our Christmas dinner. And what could be more appropriate and traditional for the season than a good old-fashioned spam bake?
Mom would carefully pry the key from its anchor on top of the can, and with an ease and a sense of purpose that only a wise, loving mother has, wind the little metal strip from the side to reveal the glorious, pristine contents.
Then, after removing the spam and scraping off the wonderful goopy gelatinous scum (I always begged for this, but mom said she had a better use for it - she never told me what it was though - I wonder why?) she would place the spam-loaf in the center of a pie tin, and garnish it with whole cloves.
And if it was for Christmas dinner, mom would top the spam with a brown-sugar and canned pineapple juice glaze - adding extra class to an already classy meal. Into the oven it would go, to bake at 350 for about 35-40 minutes. And oh what a smell on a Christmas afternoon! It was heaven, and every time I have a spam-bake, the smell of roasting spam reminds me of mom, and home.
Do you have a favorite holiday dish that reminds you of home? Add your own recipe in a comment!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The Wire - The Biological Imperative of Being Male
If anything is likely to garner some comments (and not necessarily friendly ones), this post is probably it - because today, I'm going to discuss what I call "The Wire" - a metaphor, for sure, of the biological (genetic) imperative of being male, and (by definition) the difference in the "sexual agenda" of men and women. And no, I'm not going to try to rehash the "Venus & Mars" thing - it's already been beaten to death.
What I'm going to talk about here, is a simple fact of the human condition.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I usually bring up the subject of "the wire" with most of my female friends eventually (be they simple, "Platonic" friends, or otherwise). The startling thing, to me, is that even when I bring this one to the attention of women who are close to my age (middle, going on older), I'm surprised by their (apparent) ignorance of the subject, at least in terms of its etiology (the men I talk to are no better, so ladies, don't think I'm picking on you - it's just that I think women in general would be very well served by taking it to heart).
To save you the suspense, here's the metaphor: There's a wire, (think electrical, communication, etc.) from the "basal" part of a man's brain that runs unhindered to the sexual equipment (down below). Every person who has one Y chromosome (male) has it (the wire operates just fine guys, whether you are straight or gay). The wire is fed by inputs from the senses - particularly visual, but also tactile, olfactory, etc., all uh... six.
The purpose of the wire is a genetic/evolutionary one (yes, I buy evolution as a reasonable theory, if not a perfect science). Life wants more life. Genes want more like themselves, but some level of variation is helpful because a one-trick pony is always doomed eventually when environmental conditions change. The wire has evolved in the genetic code of the Y chromosome for the specific purpose of adding diversity to the (in this case, human) genome.
Here's a very important concept: The wire (and the genes that code for it) does not give a damn about the "happiness" of any person (male or female). It exists for the purpose of propagating a specific genome as widely as possible. In other words, it doesn't know and doesn't care (because genes can't "know" or "care"), for any human values. We are angels tethered to the Earth by our biology.
Now before anybody runs off the deep end here and thinks I'm trying to justify "anti-social male behaviors", relax, and give that one up. There is *no* excuse for bad behaviors (e.g., rape, misogyny, etc.), wire or no wire. The fact is, all males are (normally anyway) born with a genetically (and otherwise) sophisticated cerebral cortex, which is perfectly capable of overriding any and all signals imposed by the wire at any time it so chooses. It's *always* a choice, and this is one for (particularly younger) women to take to heart from (perhaps) the one man who will give you the truth straight - there's no such thing as a "need" for sex in men (with any imaginary mental or physical trauma of "starvation"). Men are interested in sex (and you might be surprised, ladies, at the loose criteria) because the wire tells them (unconsciously) to procreate. Remember biologically tethered angels. It's a choice.
Ok, all of the above said, why do I think this is important, particularly for women, to understand? It's simple - based on a lot of conversations I've had with women friends, it seems that they are often in the dark about the wire (metaphor though it may be). This is not surprising, given that people with two X chromosomes (female) have a *complementary but different* biological agenda than do males. The Y chromosome (males have one X and one Y, normally) was "invented" for the (primary) purpose of facilitating genetic diversity (there's some scientific evidence for that statement; I believe it completely). That's not the case for women. That's why *all* (I repeat for emphasis: *all*) males of sexual maturity, have the wire. Meaning: All men who "experience" (any of the senses) an "attractive" (normal) member of the "trigger" sex (remember, it works for gay men too), will have a fully active, signaling wire - in *all* cases. The only difference in *result* lies with the activity of the cerebral cortex. A man can be trained not to react; a man can decide not to react; a man (if not ill) will *always* have the biologically determined signal - on the wire.
Men who read this: Go ahead, tell me it ain't so. I dare you.
Again, why should *women* take this to heart? Because it will always color your relationship (non-specific meaning of that word) with *any* (heterosexual) man, to some degree, even if only slightly. It is inescapable. Before said man can have a socially (or otherwise) equal relationship with you, he *must* consciously choose (at least sometimes) to override the wire. The fact is, depending on your *real* (social) agenda (ladies), you can either assist him in doing that successfully, or (quite frankly) make it as difficult as hell. No, there is never any excuse for bad behavior by men. There's also no excuse for insensitive behavior by either sex. Nuff said there (here comes a fight).
My case here is best served by a recent example of a conversation in which I explained this concept to one of my female friends (light friendship - all I'm willing to engage in, currently - see earlier posts). My friend was "venting" to me about a mutual friend (male) whom she "suspects" has a "hidden agenda" other than mere friendship. She wants to know (two things, actually); a) Do I think he does (have a side agenda)? and b) Is there something she's doing (wrong) to give him ideas?
My answer is: a) Yes, of course he does, honey, and b) No, not unless *being an attractive woman* is some sort of mean-spirited act. Honey, *I* have a (apparently) "hidden agenda", since it's a BUILT-IN FEATURE OF BEING MALE! (sexual preference notwithstanding).
The only thing you might want to be concerned with in a situation like that (my friend) is to make sure you stick very firmly to your personal boundaries (whatever they may be). If you do that, (and he doesn't get plain stupid) then no, there's nothing "wrong" with anybody. It's the biological thing - you won't escape it. You (my friend) don't have that trouble with *me* because I am consistently and constantly choosing to avoid getting into any intimate/romantic relationships right now because that's simply safer for me. Would I happily jump your bones in a hot New York minute if that (or some other personal boundary - there can be many) weren't the case? Well of course!!! It's biology, baby! The cycle of life, and all that. I can no more 'not have the feeling' than you can choose not to have your monthly cycle. It's what we *do* with our feelings that really counts, isn't it?
Thing is, we (as in I) go around thinking stuff like the above is just common knowledge. My friend was (carefully - she really likes me) shocked. I could tell it was big news to her, and here I was surprised she didn't know it. Ladies. Know it. Also know that there is *nothing* you can do to control it or make it go away, and there's not a man born (healthy) who doesn't have a viable functioning wire - so if you're waiting for your "Mr. Right" who's (general-purpose, BTW) wire is specifically tuned to you - forget it honey, give it up. It doesn't exist. They will *always* look. Looking isn't acting, it's just looking. Again, we are *trainable* (in terms of behavior - *NOT FEELING*), so there's hope for you yet.
- LifeWrecked - Out.
What I'm going to talk about here, is a simple fact of the human condition.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I usually bring up the subject of "the wire" with most of my female friends eventually (be they simple, "Platonic" friends, or otherwise). The startling thing, to me, is that even when I bring this one to the attention of women who are close to my age (middle, going on older), I'm surprised by their (apparent) ignorance of the subject, at least in terms of its etiology (the men I talk to are no better, so ladies, don't think I'm picking on you - it's just that I think women in general would be very well served by taking it to heart).
To save you the suspense, here's the metaphor: There's a wire, (think electrical, communication, etc.) from the "basal" part of a man's brain that runs unhindered to the sexual equipment (down below). Every person who has one Y chromosome (male) has it (the wire operates just fine guys, whether you are straight or gay). The wire is fed by inputs from the senses - particularly visual, but also tactile, olfactory, etc., all uh... six.
The purpose of the wire is a genetic/evolutionary one (yes, I buy evolution as a reasonable theory, if not a perfect science). Life wants more life. Genes want more like themselves, but some level of variation is helpful because a one-trick pony is always doomed eventually when environmental conditions change. The wire has evolved in the genetic code of the Y chromosome for the specific purpose of adding diversity to the (in this case, human) genome.
Here's a very important concept: The wire (and the genes that code for it) does not give a damn about the "happiness" of any person (male or female). It exists for the purpose of propagating a specific genome as widely as possible. In other words, it doesn't know and doesn't care (because genes can't "know" or "care"), for any human values. We are angels tethered to the Earth by our biology.
Now before anybody runs off the deep end here and thinks I'm trying to justify "anti-social male behaviors", relax, and give that one up. There is *no* excuse for bad behaviors (e.g., rape, misogyny, etc.), wire or no wire. The fact is, all males are (normally anyway) born with a genetically (and otherwise) sophisticated cerebral cortex, which is perfectly capable of overriding any and all signals imposed by the wire at any time it so chooses. It's *always* a choice, and this is one for (particularly younger) women to take to heart from (perhaps) the one man who will give you the truth straight - there's no such thing as a "need" for sex in men (with any imaginary mental or physical trauma of "starvation"). Men are interested in sex (and you might be surprised, ladies, at the loose criteria) because the wire tells them (unconsciously) to procreate. Remember biologically tethered angels. It's a choice.
Ok, all of the above said, why do I think this is important, particularly for women, to understand? It's simple - based on a lot of conversations I've had with women friends, it seems that they are often in the dark about the wire (metaphor though it may be). This is not surprising, given that people with two X chromosomes (female) have a *complementary but different* biological agenda than do males. The Y chromosome (males have one X and one Y, normally) was "invented" for the (primary) purpose of facilitating genetic diversity (there's some scientific evidence for that statement; I believe it completely). That's not the case for women. That's why *all* (I repeat for emphasis: *all*) males of sexual maturity, have the wire. Meaning: All men who "experience" (any of the senses) an "attractive" (normal) member of the "trigger" sex (remember, it works for gay men too), will have a fully active, signaling wire - in *all* cases. The only difference in *result* lies with the activity of the cerebral cortex. A man can be trained not to react; a man can decide not to react; a man (if not ill) will *always* have the biologically determined signal - on the wire.
Men who read this: Go ahead, tell me it ain't so. I dare you.
Again, why should *women* take this to heart? Because it will always color your relationship (non-specific meaning of that word) with *any* (heterosexual) man, to some degree, even if only slightly. It is inescapable. Before said man can have a socially (or otherwise) equal relationship with you, he *must* consciously choose (at least sometimes) to override the wire. The fact is, depending on your *real* (social) agenda (ladies), you can either assist him in doing that successfully, or (quite frankly) make it as difficult as hell. No, there is never any excuse for bad behavior by men. There's also no excuse for insensitive behavior by either sex. Nuff said there (here comes a fight).
My case here is best served by a recent example of a conversation in which I explained this concept to one of my female friends (light friendship - all I'm willing to engage in, currently - see earlier posts). My friend was "venting" to me about a mutual friend (male) whom she "suspects" has a "hidden agenda" other than mere friendship. She wants to know (two things, actually); a) Do I think he does (have a side agenda)? and b) Is there something she's doing (wrong) to give him ideas?
My answer is: a) Yes, of course he does, honey, and b) No, not unless *being an attractive woman* is some sort of mean-spirited act. Honey, *I* have a (apparently) "hidden agenda", since it's a BUILT-IN FEATURE OF BEING MALE! (sexual preference notwithstanding).
The only thing you might want to be concerned with in a situation like that (my friend) is to make sure you stick very firmly to your personal boundaries (whatever they may be). If you do that, (and he doesn't get plain stupid) then no, there's nothing "wrong" with anybody. It's the biological thing - you won't escape it. You (my friend) don't have that trouble with *me* because I am consistently and constantly choosing to avoid getting into any intimate/romantic relationships right now because that's simply safer for me. Would I happily jump your bones in a hot New York minute if that (or some other personal boundary - there can be many) weren't the case? Well of course!!! It's biology, baby! The cycle of life, and all that. I can no more 'not have the feeling' than you can choose not to have your monthly cycle. It's what we *do* with our feelings that really counts, isn't it?
Thing is, we (as in I) go around thinking stuff like the above is just common knowledge. My friend was (carefully - she really likes me) shocked. I could tell it was big news to her, and here I was surprised she didn't know it. Ladies. Know it. Also know that there is *nothing* you can do to control it or make it go away, and there's not a man born (healthy) who doesn't have a viable functioning wire - so if you're waiting for your "Mr. Right" who's (general-purpose, BTW) wire is specifically tuned to you - forget it honey, give it up. It doesn't exist. They will *always* look. Looking isn't acting, it's just looking. Again, we are *trainable* (in terms of behavior - *NOT FEELING*), so there's hope for you yet.
- LifeWrecked - Out.
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