As Barriers Crumble, Friendship Thrives

(Another Advantage of a Wrecked Life)

Strange. You would think having your life wrecked would be isolating; depressing, lonely. You'd be right at one level - when I choose to sit squarely on my pity-pot, it's as lonely as you might imagine. The good news is I've never been one to sit on a pity-pot for long.

By nature, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool introvert. http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch?r
This doesn't mean, BTW, that I'm shy. People sometimes confuse the two personality traits; they actually aren't related. Introversion simply means I focus my ego on myself, and how my behaviors affect others (and hence, how they react to me). Extroverts tend to be focused on the world (and people) outside themselves, and if folks react to them badly, they assume the problem resides in those folks (rather than themselves - which may very well be true).

One of the wildest (to me) advantages of my wrecked-life situation is that I have become willing to just "spill the beans" as it were, to anybody who's patient enough to listen (hence this blog). As a "consequence", it turns out I'm making new (and some quite deep!) friendships at a (relatively) prodigious rate, compared to earlier times when my life was "hunky dory".

Why? My hypotheses are that a) Everybody has "issues" of some sort or another; b) Most people deeply appreciate honesty (e.g, "spilling the beans") because it entails "trust given" and hence reciprocity (in trust) is easier and safer. Also, of course, there's my changed attitude which lets me trust - I sense that I have little (left) to lose in the "transaction"; It's just easier to let it go, and if people run away, so be it - but some stay, and then mutual trust and friendship happen almost like magic.

So, am I recommending that you go and get yourself a Wrecked Life so you can have "little (left) to lose..." and therefore gain lots of wonderful new friendships? Nope. I strongly suspect there's a shortcut. :*) It's called *risk*, and it's scary, for sure, but it pays big dividends when it works (and at least half the time, it does work!)

Stepping out to the broader sense, methinks a willingness in people (in general) to risk and trust is going to soon be essential to our survival as a species (maybe even the whole biosphere). I'm not a doom and gloom prophet, but bad things are happening to our freedoms, our country, our planet. We're going to need to be really good at *listening* (funny - I'm pretty much deaf these days, but you know what I mean) to each other, and responding with compassion. My personal wreck is but a metaphor for the wreck we, together, may become, if we don't come together on the important issues. 'Nuff said. Weird - I actually care.

- LifeWrecked