Deaf and Dizzy meets Dumb - Life Frustrations Amplified

Here I am, back at my workplace, gradually getting less than mad as hell at no one in particular (Yellow Cab in general). Life was frustrating sometimes even when I could hear, and drive - now that I've landed myself outside of both of those option sets, my frustrations seem to be amplified, partly by my own denial - trying to act independent and competent in a driving, hearing culture.

The frustration today? I was *finally* scheduled to have my CT scan so my doc could get on with the process of diagnosing me so that maybe soon I can actually qualify for some of the assistance that I need. So it's a 20 minute cab ride from my office location, and I give "Yellow" an hour and a half lead - speaking to their dispatcher boldly and proudly through Sprint Relay. All set - 5 to 15 minutes, I'll be on the street...

Now yours truly is no stranger to taxicabs, busses, etc. - if there's one thing I'm an expert at, it's waiting on the street for same. Now I'm sure you can guess what happened (or more correctly, didn't happen). Mind you, the logic of calling Yellow back, and begging, didn't escape me, but consider my dilemma as my deadline approaches. I can't talk to them on the cell phone, I'll need Sprint again - and God help me if I go back inside to hook up, only to find my cab came while I was spending the 10 or 15 minutes it takes to get through a relay session with a taxi dispatcher (and that's if you *don't* have a problem). So I decided that my only realistic plan was to continue waiting until the last possible moment, and give up. So I waited, it was, and I did. Fortunately the folks at UC Davis (where my CT was scheduled) were the understanding sort, and they happily re-scheduled me for the 4th of January. Not bad, I can live with that.

NOW, my plan on January 4th :-) - I'm going to give Yellow a 3 hour lead, and see if they can handle that! Yeah, it sucks, and I miss work, and all that, but what is one to do when the monopoly (here in Sacramento) that is Yellow Cab can't serve me - for any price? There's probably a bus that goes (LOL) - and it's probably more reliable (this wasn't my first, nor my most costly issue with the Jolly Yellow Giant). My existential gripe today is about the daily grind - just trying to get through what should be the routine stuff of life - and my (sad looking, I suppose) refusal to wear the "disabled" label on my shirtsleeve. Ugh!

Since I'm on a grumbling roll, I might as well toss in the fact (explained in great detail, very clearly and slowly, on my home answering machine), that I can only be helped by the California Dept of Rehab if I *don't* have a job. So what I need to do now is take lots of these 5 hour excursions to 1/2 hour appointments in the middle of working days, so my employer will fire me, and then I can wave my disabled/unemployed flag and shout "no-fair! pay up!"

I hate it when I get cynical, but there it is. Ugly, but it keeps me entertained.

Thanks for "listening" ;)

LifeWrecked - Out.